''For those who won't hear; it takes an explosion to make them listen...'' - Bhagat Singh

(This series of posts were written during a particularly regressive phase of Yenepoya between 2009 and 2011. Having said that, I'd like to unequivocally state here that I am very proud of my alma mater, and I look back at those days with a lot of fondness. Yenepoya has since taken numerous progessive measures for students, and is one of the best medical universities, in terms of infrastructure. If you're someone who came across this while researching about the college, please do not make any judgments based on this blog alone. Once upon a time, slavery was legal in the USA. Doesn't mean it still is.)

Friday, February 4, 2011

Of Good-'K'nights and Mosquitoes...

As a part of the compulsory rotatory internship, the interns are required to complete a 45 day stint at the Sayyid Madani Rural Health Centre at Ullal. Due to the close proximity of the beach, and the rather sluggish proceedings thanks to the handful of patients who bother to show up, it is often called as the 'holiday posting'. The patients are usually prescribed medication from the roster of the free drugs available here, owing to the poor socio-economic background of the majority of them.

And guess who is the captain of this ship? Dr. Sujeer - Our dear ex-principal! Well, I've no great issues with him, except the fact that he has brought a rather unnecessary and stupid rule: that all the interns posted in Ullal should stay here 24x7, and shift to the so-called Interns Quarters. Which doesn't make any sense at all. Usually, any number of interns between 6 to 12 are posted at a time. In spite of the average of just 10 patients after 6pm(and I'm being generous here), all the interns, apart from the duty intern are supposed to stay put. Don't ask me why. (Between me and you, I recommend an Alzheimer's screening for 'someone'.)
(It's A totally different issue, whether that many interns ever stay there. But, why have a rule that is outdated and useless, instead of a sensible system of duty rotation?!)

Now let us imagine that I don't mind the hassle of shifting here, throughout the course of the posting. More skeletons fall out of the cupboard now. I'll take the pleasure of describing the 5 star rooms that are christened as the interns quarters': Creaking doors, misplaced bolts, leaking faucets, broken tiles, beds that are culture media to the widest range of fungi and bacteria, and not to say, the largest army of killer mosquitoes, ever known to man!

Let's contrast it with the suave and chic chamber of Dr. Sujeer. Leather chair, opulent desk, comfy-cushions, sparkling toilet and rather weirdly, a refrigerator filled with Frootis(Very bad choice, sir. I recommend the new 'Slice'. Truly aamsutra!). Dr. Sujeer recently remarked that the centre has developed a garden, and looks very pleasant. Well, please pass this word of advice to the management, sir. How about spending that money on laying interlock bricks on our frontyard?! How can you be blind to the numerous puddles, that serve as the breeding ground for those bloodsuckers(Not the management, dummy! I meant, the mosquitoes!).

Now, let's go into another scam that's been going on for the past few months. Camps are conducted twice daily(morning and afternoon) in selected sub-centres in and around Ullal. Well, there's nothing wrong with it, except that we're expected to complete 15-20 case-sheets. Do we have such number of patients? No. So, what are the interns expected to do? Scout for patients around the sub-centres. What if still there are only a few cases? Simple. Manufacture them! Because, you see, Dr. Sujeer expects atleast 15 cases case-sheets in front of him after each visit. The only advantage with this being, the interns gain remarkable experience in coming up with authentic names from each caste and community! Now, I ask you, why all this sham? Can't we just do our work in a straight-forward and transparent manner. Food for thought, Dr. Sujeer...

So, what should be done here in this god-forsaken place?
(i) Scrap the rule. Let only the Duty Interns stay overnight.
(ii) If you're so adamant that we should stay here, please give this place a facelift. Repaint the walls, get some new beds, plug the leaks, you know, the whole drill.
(iv) Tone down the spook factor. This place gives me the creeps at night!(Was it done like this purposely to keep out the patients?!) Put some lights here and there, and give the walls some cheerful colour. Last heard, Ram Gopal Varma was seriously considering this place for the location of Phoonk-3!!
(iii) More importantly, do something about these damn mosquitoes! These creatures are so super-resistant! Mosquito repellent creams, mosquito coils- nothing seems to work on them!

Use All-Out, is it? No thanks, it just seemed to trigger an All-Out attack by a scourge of these invincible warriors.

What is that? Did I use Good Knight, eh? Well, I bid it(and you all) good night!

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