''For those who won't hear; it takes an explosion to make them listen...'' - Bhagat Singh

(This series of posts were written during a particularly regressive phase of Yenepoya between 2009 and 2011. Having said that, I'd like to unequivocally state here that I am very proud of my alma mater, and I look back at those days with a lot of fondness. Yenepoya has since taken numerous progessive measures for students, and is one of the best medical universities, in terms of infrastructure. If you're someone who came across this while researching about the college, please do not make any judgments based on this blog alone. Once upon a time, slavery was legal in the USA. Doesn't mean it still is.)

Friday, February 4, 2011

Of Good-'K'nights and Mosquitoes...

As a part of the compulsory rotatory internship, the interns are required to complete a 45 day stint at the Sayyid Madani Rural Health Centre at Ullal. Due to the close proximity of the beach, and the rather sluggish proceedings thanks to the handful of patients who bother to show up, it is often called as the 'holiday posting'. The patients are usually prescribed medication from the roster of the free drugs available here, owing to the poor socio-economic background of the majority of them.

And guess who is the captain of this ship? Dr. Sujeer - Our dear ex-principal! Well, I've no great issues with him, except the fact that he has brought a rather unnecessary and stupid rule: that all the interns posted in Ullal should stay here 24x7, and shift to the so-called Interns Quarters. Which doesn't make any sense at all. Usually, any number of interns between 6 to 12 are posted at a time. In spite of the average of just 10 patients after 6pm(and I'm being generous here), all the interns, apart from the duty intern are supposed to stay put. Don't ask me why. (Between me and you, I recommend an Alzheimer's screening for 'someone'.)
(It's A totally different issue, whether that many interns ever stay there. But, why have a rule that is outdated and useless, instead of a sensible system of duty rotation?!)

Now let us imagine that I don't mind the hassle of shifting here, throughout the course of the posting. More skeletons fall out of the cupboard now. I'll take the pleasure of describing the 5 star rooms that are christened as the interns quarters': Creaking doors, misplaced bolts, leaking faucets, broken tiles, beds that are culture media to the widest range of fungi and bacteria, and not to say, the largest army of killer mosquitoes, ever known to man!

Let's contrast it with the suave and chic chamber of Dr. Sujeer. Leather chair, opulent desk, comfy-cushions, sparkling toilet and rather weirdly, a refrigerator filled with Frootis(Very bad choice, sir. I recommend the new 'Slice'. Truly aamsutra!). Dr. Sujeer recently remarked that the centre has developed a garden, and looks very pleasant. Well, please pass this word of advice to the management, sir. How about spending that money on laying interlock bricks on our frontyard?! How can you be blind to the numerous puddles, that serve as the breeding ground for those bloodsuckers(Not the management, dummy! I meant, the mosquitoes!).

Now, let's go into another scam that's been going on for the past few months. Camps are conducted twice daily(morning and afternoon) in selected sub-centres in and around Ullal. Well, there's nothing wrong with it, except that we're expected to complete 15-20 case-sheets. Do we have such number of patients? No. So, what are the interns expected to do? Scout for patients around the sub-centres. What if still there are only a few cases? Simple. Manufacture them! Because, you see, Dr. Sujeer expects atleast 15 cases case-sheets in front of him after each visit. The only advantage with this being, the interns gain remarkable experience in coming up with authentic names from each caste and community! Now, I ask you, why all this sham? Can't we just do our work in a straight-forward and transparent manner. Food for thought, Dr. Sujeer...

So, what should be done here in this god-forsaken place?
(i) Scrap the rule. Let only the Duty Interns stay overnight.
(ii) If you're so adamant that we should stay here, please give this place a facelift. Repaint the walls, get some new beds, plug the leaks, you know, the whole drill.
(iv) Tone down the spook factor. This place gives me the creeps at night!(Was it done like this purposely to keep out the patients?!) Put some lights here and there, and give the walls some cheerful colour. Last heard, Ram Gopal Varma was seriously considering this place for the location of Phoonk-3!!
(iii) More importantly, do something about these damn mosquitoes! These creatures are so super-resistant! Mosquito repellent creams, mosquito coils- nothing seems to work on them!

Use All-Out, is it? No thanks, it just seemed to trigger an All-Out attack by a scourge of these invincible warriors.

What is that? Did I use Good Knight, eh? Well, I bid it(and you all) good night!

Monday, September 6, 2010

The Psycho and the Psychiatrist!!

A couple of weeks back, a rather unpleasant incident occurred, which you may or may not have heard about. The venue of this 'event' was the Orthopaedics ward in the YMC Hospital. When it was narrated to me by a friend, I felt disgusted! Even a bit ashamed; that some doctors could be so egoistic! But, then I was not surprised. This man had such a sadistic reputation in our college, that would put even an executioner into shame. Without further ado, let me unveil the identity of this controversial person:

Prof. M. Sudhakar Shetty
Professor & HOD, Department of Orthopaedics.

One fine morning after daily rounds, Dr. Sudhakar Shetty found a doctor and his interns near the Orthopaedic nurse counter. Anyone who is familiar with our hospital, knows that the Orthopaedic ward(male) and the Psychiatry ward(male) are on the same wing. And hence, the case-sheets of both wards are kept in the same nurse counter. Now, the doctor near the nurse counter I mentioned, was Dr. Rohan, Assistant Professor, Department of Psychiatry. He had just finished or was about to take his rounds, when he was confronted rudely by the 'Boss'!!

Here's a crude account of what happened between them:

Dr. Sudhakar Shetty: Who are you? And what the hell are you doing here?

Dr. Rohan: (perplexed) What?

DSS: Who are you?

DR: I'm the Assistant Professor of Psychiatry Department. WHO ARE YOU? (I've heard that he being a new staff, really didn't know the old man. Whatever it is, I swear I heard the sound of Sudhakar Shetty's ego crashing down, two blocks away in the Administration Block!!)

DSS: Psychiatry?(with a belittling sneer) That I can see. No ID. No apron. Nothing! And you're not supposed to take rounds, when I'm taking rounds!

DR: Who are you to say that?(God, what a miss! Should have replied, 'I can see that you need my help!)

DSS: You don't know who I am?

DR: No. I don't. And I'll be reporting this to the management. (storms out)

Scene over.

This is just one of the many insights we've had into the eternal cynicism of the sadistic mind of Dr. Sudhakar Shetty. When Yenepoya brought him here, it was seen widely as a big-catch. Kinda like when the Manchester City football team bought Robinho(We all know how that ended!). It was believed he will bring his broad experience and add prestige to this institution. While he may have brought the gloss to the department, the buck stops there! I, for one, strongly feel he has caused harm as much as good, to the department.

I do not doubt the credentials of Dr. Sudhakar Shetty. He is known to be an astute clinician, albeit, someone who has been losing his magic touch recently. He is known to be a strict disciplinarian, with a flawless work ethic. He is counted as one of the best orthopaedicians in the country. But, with his prima donna attitude, he has created one of the least cohesive departments in Yenepoya. His colleagues dislike him. They shower mock-respect on him, in front, and bicker about him in secret. Even the management sees him as a major headache!

The PG's(my deepest and sincerest condolences!) hate him. And not without reason. Minor mistakes are not forgiven, and they are slapped with hefty fines, on a regular basis. How will you feel, if you're stripped of around Rs. 200-Rs.1000 on every alternate day?! They are insulted on almost every occasion in front of the patients and the interns. They are expected to act more like the his P.A.'s rather than a postgraduate. Nurses and librarians are given authority to report them, and we all know what happens, when a monkey is given a garland! Thesis papers are bounced off, till his ego is fulfilled! And, till the near future(until Dr. Alfred came), they were hardly given any chances in the O.T.

The state has come today, where the post-graduates are more worried about their survival, than the patients'. They are more worried about committing mistakes, rather than learning their subject. Complicated cases are rarely admitted by the PG's for fear of getting humiliated in the seminar room! Every second of their academic life is aimed at getting past the day, when they should actually be more positive and constructive. And why wouldn't they? I'm sure if I was in their position, I'll become just like them- another emotionally hardened robot!!

I know for a fact that, our ortho PG's are one of the best in Mangalore, as seen in their performances in all the conferences. I also know that PG life is meant to be tough, as a training for the tough terrains ahead in the future. But, does that mean it must involve so much of personal humiliation, that you lose whatever is left of your self-esteem? Shouldn't you be professional, at least, when handling doctors under you? I know that it is lonely at the top, and maybe, Dr. Sudhakar Shetty's experiences has made him the bitter man, that he is today. But, is that enough reason to vent it out on his juniors, even with the ever-green reason, 'It's all for their own good.'? I may be naive here, but I do not agree. I've seen doctors like Dr. Harishchandra who is the pinnacle of humility to everyone, but at the same time, merciless, in the event of any mistakes by any of his subordinates.

Anyway, last heard, our management and the Principal are pondering what to do over the guy. My advice is that a strong message must be sent to Dr. Sudhakar Shetty, that such outbursts won't be tolerated. But, anyone who knows him will comprehend the fact that, he is far too senior and revered a personality to be reprimanded. But, my guess is that, they'll allow him to continue till he retires next year, at the very least. Boy, aren't there gonna be some relieved souls in Yenepoya, then?!

What makes me really sad is the fact, we doctors are supposed to be the cream of the society. We are expected to live under the principles of humility, service and compassion. And there are some great doctors, who are inspiring, down-to-earth and dedicated. How easy it would've been to divide the egoistic doctors as nobodys, and the sweet doctors as the great ones! But, life is not black and white, is it? We all come in shades of grey. So, we've the well-dispositioned doctors, never destined to become great ones. And the arrogant specimens, like the case in point, becoming one of the best in their specialty!

But then, as someone said, 'Ain't life a bitch?!'

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Back with a splash!!(of not pure water, I assure!)

Hello Yenepoyans...

Long time, I know. Why didn't I write for the last four months? Well, I don't know. I could probably say, I was busy doing this or that; but that was not the case. I just didn't feel like writing. There came a point where I just started questioning the purpose of this blog, and whether it's going to bring any changes - in attitudes, if not in actions. You could say I was fed up. But then, I was too naive. I understand that now, even though this blog was a voice for Yenepoyans in general; it matters to me that I continue writing. It makes me feel less guilty. It lets me sleep peacefully. Every second I was ignoring the controversies and problems out there; I felt sick of myself. Hence, this change of mind. I cannot promise that I will continue to write regularly after this,(my character is too fickle and lacks the discipline needed for it) but I'll certainly make an attempt to keep you updated.

So what if Yenepoya has blocked this blog(and strangely enough, all the other blogs too; in addition to Facebook and Orkut) in the University network, people who're reading this, go spread the word!!

I certainly chose an eventful four months to miss.

-We had a 3 day International Conference on Molecular Biology and Genetics, with eminent scientists and scholars gracing the event from all over the country and abroad.

-We conducted our cultural fest Renaissance '10 - hosted admirably by the 2007 batch - after a gap of 4 years. An pulsating finish ensued with the '05 batch, the PG's and the hosting batch all tied on 195 points!

-Yenepoya University's Vice-Chancellor Prof. Syed Akheel Ahmed had to resign(from what I hear, the management was not so happy with him), and YDC Principal Dr. Sripathi Rao has taken over for the time being.

-The Ashraya Charitable Society's Art for Charity exhibition -Lumanita '10 hosted by 2008 batch - grossed a massive Rs. 5 lakhs( still unbelievable!) providing a breather to the impoverished patients. Not bad for an organization which started as a bucket collection among a few students!

-The Graduation Day of the 2004 MBBS batch, hosted with panache by the 2006 MBBS batch, with the highlights being a laser show, a medical ramp-walk by the graduates and a very hilarious 'All Izz Well' awards! It may not have been the grandest show, but certainly, all was indeed well, that night.

-Yenepoya University won the P.C. Zahir tournament for the second year running under the captaincy of our Chief Financial Officer, Yenepoya Farhad. But the stars of the tournament were undoubtedly the trio of Hilal, Nazeel and Muzammil of the '09 batch! I see sunny days for our football team ahead!

-Yenepoya Premier League: Edition 2(YPL-2) was held, where the previous champions Kashmir Stallions were beaten narrowly by the Karnataka Titans in a nail-biting finish.

-Stipends! Interns and PG's have started getting monthly stipends, and to say that I'm surprised is an understatement. Definitely, one of the few sensible pro-students decisions Yenepoya has taken in their history! Clap! Clap!

Ok, that's all I can recollect for now. And how can Yenepoya be complete without its share of controversies and absurd decisions? But, I'll try not to dwell much on it, because according to some people whom I really admire, I only criticize, but don't laud Yenepoya's achievements (personally I don't agree, maybe they just missed the posts where I've said good things about Yenepoya).

Meanwhile, almost all departments are running helter-skelter with NAAC(National Assessment and Accreditation Council) work. Every University is supposed to get a NAAC assessment done within the first three years. And Yenepoya, as usual, has woken up at the last moments. All departments are busy preparing their departmental booklets, a small room in the Forensic Medicine department doubling up as the NAAC office. Hope everything is completed in time.

So, what's the latest news? Well, it's our own version of the 'BP oil-spill'. Five days ago, when water scarcity was faced, water was pumped into the Men's Hostel from a new well. It seems this well was not cleaned, nor was the necessary precautions taken. Due to this negligence, our students got a new version of H20, with the 'minor' problem being, the colour was a muddy yellow(Maybe it's a new Champyen drink!). This continued for three days, before a huge contingency of students went and flooded the Administration Block, after which prompt action was promised.

But, it's still not good news. The Microbiology Department are remaining tight-lipped about the analysis reports, with rumors of E. coli being found in the sample, doing the rounds. But, when even Nambiar Sir has given an order not to drink that water, its state is quite obvious. Well, there were certainly a lot of cases of diarrhoea last week, from the students. Coincidence? You decide.

Now, I don't know whether it's because of their incompetency, or maybe it'll just take some time; the water has still retained a pale yellow colour. Cans of ChampYen water is being bought for drinking and cooking purposes, but for other daily requirements there is no go, other than using the 'yellow' water. I hear students complaining of dermatitis and itching after exposure to the water; but look at the silver lining. At least our soporific Department of Dermatology will get some patients!!

What irritates me is the consistent negligence in Yenepoya, especially when it comes to the students' matters. Matters are imposed on us, rather than our opinions being taken in a just manner. When it comes to a choice between providing quality service, or saving money at the expense of our discomfort, we are always overlooked!

We are the lifeline of this University, and if this is the way we are treated, it speaks volumes about the disposition of the management ruling us. I hope for a day when the management will stop treating us like second-class citizens. But by the look of things, I'm afraid it will just remain what it is today - a distant dream...

That's it for now, I guess. Gotta catch some sleep.

Keep reading... Keep writing...

Monday, February 1, 2010

I cheered madly...! wildly...! happily...!

I feel like I've been hit with a brick on my head. I have no idea where to start, to describe the phenomenon I witnessed on 29th and 30th of January, 2010. Days that should be marked in golden ink in the history of Yenepoya. Wasn't it announced earlier? Yes, it was. Didn't I knew whether it was going to happen? Yes, I knew. Then what's the big deal, you may ask. To that query, I have but, one answer: ''You should've been there!''

To me and the other mentally asphyxiated Yenepoyans, it was like a pure blast of entertaining oxygen!! We shouted, we cheered, we screamed ourselves hoarse. And still the magic continued. Moment after moment. From the balloon-bursting inauguration to the ramp-walk in the grand finale, it was assorted with beautiful pearls of memory, that I will cherish forever.

Here is a look at some of the superstars, the show unveiled:

- The Non-teaching Faculty: If I had to pick who showed the most enthusiasm for the event, they wouldn't have been any group other than the non-teaching faculty, from both the administration block and the hospital block. They came into the fest fully prepared, having rehearsed for around a month, stealing hours after their duty time. Not even in my wildest dreams did I imagine, that they had so many talented individuals including the very-gifted dancer Rajesh! It taught us, students, a huge lesson, that never under-estimate any individual.

- Dr. Ananth Prabhu(Surgey Department): We always admired him, but never knew that he had such a great voice! The audience were thrilled when he sang 'Tere Mere Sapne Ab Ek Rang Hai' the first time; and were behind him throughout the song. As it turned out, he was not finished for the afternoon, and ended up singing not once, not twice, but three times!!

- Dr. Imran(Prosthodontics): The only person to get a universal standing ovation for his lion-hearted ramp walk! Dressed in stylish casual wear, he brought the crowd to their feet. Not only that, his team went on to win the 3rd place in Quiz and Anthakshari. Well done, indeed!

- Dr. Sanath Shetty(Prosthodontics): He won the Mock Press competition with a masterly imitation of Amitabh Bachhan, leading the crowd to chant 'Big B', everytime he came to the stage. He also scored in the fashion show big time!!

- The Cheerleader Quartet: If anyone were asked which faculty members rocked the most, the answer will be unanimous - The Cheerleader Quartet! I'm of course, referring to Dr. Kedlaya, Dr. Ganesh(Bio-Chemistry), Dr. Kishore(Forensic Science) and Dr. Manohar(Pharmacology)! They danced, fooled around and 'hi-fi'd into our hearts, meanwhile teaching us how to enjoy to the max!!

- Dr. Sandeep Shetty: Undoubtedly, the heart-throb of the college, he was at his charming best. He had the audience in splits with his 'Emraan Haashmi' act, and later performed remarkably well in the Dumb Charades. His 'beach-wear' avatar had the girls swooning all over, cementing his status as 'the ultimate dude'!

- The Yenepoya Comment Board: Operated by a group of witty students, the comment board teased, cheered and advertised mercilessly throughout the show. Never had such a simple application like 'Notepad', brought such a large audience into raptures before!

Moving on, the event was well-organized by the 2007 batch, but to be fair, the major share of the credit should go to the faculty. Taking nothing away from the hosting batch, it is only an accurate assessment that their job was mainly advertisement and compering, which was done efficiently. However, the success of the show owes it to the exuberance and brilliance of the faculty- both teaching and non-teaching!

Now, I need not say this, but this is, undoubtedly, a victory for Mrs. Obeida Shoukath over her critics! You may not like her, but it needs to be agreed that she gets the job done. The Yenepoya she took charge of and the Yenepoya of present, is as different as chalk and cheese; and for this achievement, hats off to you, madam!!

Finally, the one man, of whom this event was the brain-child, Mr. Farhad; this round belongs to you! This was the ace move of your career; and you did with panache. You gave a tight slap to your critics(including yours truly), and sat back and enjoyed the results. But, I'm sure this was an education for him, as in how a college that comes alive looks like! And I'm positive he'll make sure the students culturals happen on March 12th, 13th and 14th.

There was a paradoxical moment for me, towards the end, when Mr. Farhad walked the ramp as the show-stopper. Here was a man, who I had criticised striding forwards confidently, in his moment of glory. I was hit with a stab of guilt and unpleasant sensation. I turned and looked back. The noise was fever-pitch, and the crowd was roaring with excitement. Pushing all thoughts away, I joined them. I cheered madly...! wildly...! happily...!

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Doctors Up In Arms!!

This post is regarding a new rule which is currently brewing up a lot of trouble in the Yenepoya Medical College. I don't know whose idea was this, but as far as I've heard it has got to do with either the YMC Principal Dr. Ghulam Jeelani Qadiri, or our management. The rule states that new OPD timing has been changed to 8.30am - 3.30pm . However, this has been met with widespread criticism among the doctors.

Here are some of the ground realities our college administrators, whoever it is, should understand:
1) Most of our doctors have their own fully-fledged private practice. They simply cannot afford to sit in the OPD till 3.30pm(when there is hardly any patients after 1.30pm).
2) It takes around half an hour to reach our college from the city everyday. Meaning atleast, an hour of their time and money is wasted only on traveling to this distant area.
3) There are around 5 medical colleges in Mangalore. It's not as if they will struggle to find jobs, if they're forced to resign from here.
4) There is a growing scarcity of good and inspirational doctors, who are passionate about teaching. We, in Yenepoya, have been lucky enough to have some of the best teachers. However, if the management pile up additional pressure on them, they may as well leave, rather than go through this whole ordeal.

Why do I feel the management doesn't have anyone with even the slightest idea how to run the place? I feel it is really sad that, such highly decorated people can't think of ideas which is so obvious to the mind of a a student like me.To be fair to Mr. Farhad, he is young, he's only the CFO(although obviously there is a lot of misplaced power in his and his father's hands, which they would do well to relinquish), and he'll take his due time in learning the know-hows of running medical science institutions. There is also the fact he has surrounded himself with administrators from para-clinical background, which is really crippling our system. Our Vice-Chancellor, Dr. Syed Aqeel Ahmed for all his achievements is a research scholar, and deserves to be made the head of Research Centre, not the University. I strongly believe we need a VC from a medical background for the University to move forward. From what I've seen of Dr. Ghulam Jeelani Qadiri, the YMC Principal, he has certainly proved himself to be an able administrator. But this onus of him being too much of an administrator rather than a practitioner, I feel, has alienated him from the duels of a doctor's life, leading him to make rather unpractical decisions, which he may well reconsider before it is too late. For example, apart from the above mentioned harsh OPD schedule, what is the need to demand so much formalities, over a simple matter of granting provisional certificates(mentioning when the student will finishing internship) to interns; who are interested in writing PG exams? Certainly, there is some sort of misunderstanding on his side, which must be cleared.

Last week, when Dr. Ravi Chandran of Radiology department told the management that he can't make do with the current timings, it was met with a casual attitude of 'it's either my way, or the highway' only for the management to suddenly take a step back, when they understood he was going to resign, offering him a promotion and a flexible schedule in the process. From what I'm hearing, Dr. Ashok Pandit has already left the college, which is a shame, because he is one of the most modest and passionate doctors I've had the pleasure of studying under. He even used to bring his own instruments to operate in the under-equipped operation theater. There are already rumours that Dr. Abdul Majeed, and Dr. Sathyanarayana are mulling over their options, with the new timing seriously hampering their private practice. If they leave, it'll seriously affect the credibility of Surgery Department, which is currently one of the best in Yenepoya. Other names doing the rounds are Dr. Mahesh from Orthopaedics and Dr. Adarsh of ENT departments. Similarly, atleast 8 other doctors from 4 other departments are currently looking for jobs in other Medical Colleges. They're firm about the fact that they'll leave if they get a good deal elsewhere, and I can't really blame them. Boy, ain't our future rather bleak?!

I feel we require a trust comprising the most visionary doctors in the college to take progressive and sensible decisions, so that we become one of the best colleges in the country. From the management's side, they will need to give real power to the professionals, especially when that was one of the problems highlighted by the P.N. Tandon Committee. You can't make any progress when father, brothers, sons, uncles, sons-in-law and nephews comprise 80% of the governing trust. I have one word for the above trust - 'Family'! So keep those meetings at home. But, I understand the need for the owners being part of the trust, but they should not exceed more than 40% of the members. The rest should be mandatorily manned by professionals, for our own good. If this step is undertaken, coupled with judicious investment from the management in procuring the latest technology, I assure you our college will scale unseen heights!

This is my humble request to the management to wake up and smell the coffee. Mr. Farhad, I know that, we don't see eye-to-eye on lots of issues, but this is your chance to upgrade the rotting standards spreading here. You cannot control everything with an iron hand. Part of being a good administrator is lending your ears to the minutest problems of your employees. Especially, when we're talking about a professional Medical College here, it gets all the more serious. Hence, I sincerely hope our management start thinking smartly and acting wisely. You can start with finding an alternative, acceptable and competent solution to the 'schedule crisis' faced by the doctors. But the problem is, that it requires modesty, professionalism and oodles of common sense. Unfortunately, like we all know, common sense is not so common anymore!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

From 'Deemed' To 'Doomed'!

First of all, Happy New Year to all my readers(Better late than never)!!

I regret that this is my first post of the year. Now, my intention is not to rub salt on the wound, but I can't help but say, 'I told you so.' So, what am I blabbering about? Well, according to the latest news, in what can be called as a mass upheaval of incompetence by the HRD Ministry under Kapil Sibal, the Centre has asked the Supreme Court to revoke the deemed status of 44 universities! Including ours truly, Yenepoya University!!

I should say that I didn't see this coming. Not because that they deserved the University status. But, I atleast, counted on the money power of Yenepoya family, to pass the assessment of the P.N. Tandon Committee. Now that, they've turned out to be brutally honest, we'll see how the ball rolls on from here. However, a lot of questions still remain. Will they be able to hold on to it? Will the Supreme Court go forward with the affidavit? Are the colleges allowed to appeal against the decision? However, one thing is clear. The Ministry has made it obvious that, we're one of those colleges who don't deserve the deemed status fairly. Now even if we manage to hold on to it through other means, the evidence of our below-par standards is out!

Even though the Yenepoya management is panicking, they're keeping a calm stance. When asked for comment, Mr. Rony, the Admission Executive of YU said, ''It's just an affidavit to the Court. It doesn't have any power, unless the MCI decides to implement it.'' From what my inside sources say, the management will try to influence Ghulam Nabi Azad, the current Minister of Health and Family Welfare, who is visiting the college next week. God alone knows what is going to happen! Let's wait and watch.

Moving on, what really spooked me was the reason given by the P. N. Tandon Committee for canceling the university status of these institutions. The committees affidavit states, ''It found undesirable management architecture, where families rather than professional academics controlled the functioning of institutions.'' No words could be any more close to the truth. I myself, have highlighted this point umpteen times, as the primary problem of our institution in this blog, and it seems, the Government has finally caught up with this fact!

However, in a just move so as not to jeopardize the future of students enrolled in these de-recognized universities, the task force has recommended that these universities revert their status as an affiliated college of the state university of jurisdiction, so that the students can complete their courses and obtain the degrees from the affiliated university. Meaning the Yenepoya University students will become RGUHS students, if the affidavit is passed.

To the '08 BDS, '09 BDS and '09 MBBS batches and other students under YU, my sympathies. And a warm welcome to the Rajiv Gandhi University of Health Sciences(in case everything moves on fairly)! Life could get only better!!

Will keep you updated.

Adios!

Saturday, December 12, 2009

The Curious Incidents of Dogs at All Times!!

Hello Yenepoyans.

I've been jerked to write, from my hectic and unsuccessful efforts into studying; by a mail which I received from a fellow Yenepoyan and a sight which I, unfortunately, had to bear witness to. So here it goes. (Maneka Gandhi and her followers, if you're reading this, please stay way.)

Yenepoya has always had a more than healthy population of dogs since the past few years. I'm sure it also ranks as the region with the highest fertility rate among dogs. Unfortunately, the management has turned a blind eye to all this 'canine' population explosion, and have accepted the sight of scores of dogs, as normal as the sight of any other group of students in this campus. Hell! I feel our four-legged friends are the only creatures; who feel more at home here than anyone of us, students. Wanna bet on it? I assure, you'll lose.

The hostelites are the ones who have usually faced the brunt of the nuisance caused by the dogs. Why? Did they bite any of us? You may ask. No, not yet. They seem to be well-mannered in that department; moving away when coming into visual contact with any human beings. But, its their night-time activity which gives us nightmares! What will you do when all the Yenepoyan dogs huddle together and decide to hold their 'musical talent show', around the auspicious time of 2 am every single night?! Come on dudes! Take a break! (Now I'm sure this would have worked if they had our intelligence, knew how to read English and accessed my blog regularly! Unlike our Yenepoyan management, who feigns blindness to the most issues brought out in this blog!)

Two days back, when some of my friends, due to a late pang of hunger, went to the hostel mess around 3pm, they were met with a repulsive sight, which banished their appetite to the North pole! Usually, the plates are kept in the Mess counter for the students, from where they're served food. However, if you're late, you''ll have to go behind the counter to the wash area, where the used plates are cleaned. So, when these hungry guys entered the wash area, there was our hero,(I'll call him Mr. Tom) Mr. Tom having a sumptuous lunch from the leftovers of the used plates. This is the conversation that took place between them:

Mr. Tom: Hello Boys!
Student No. 1: What do you think you're doing?
Mr. Tom: Having my lunch, of course. Are you guys blind? (rolls his eyes)
Student No. 2(bewildered): We can see that you're eating. But, why are you doing that from our Mess Hall?
Mr. Tom: Come on, boys, we're all adults here. You're not going to eat this food, I know that. So, why don't you mind your own business?
Student No. 1: (Shocked at being told off) There is no need to be rude. And we're going to complain about this to Warden!!
Mr. Tom: Don't bother. I've already sent a letter for permission to eat from the hostel. It's probably on Mr. P.C.M. Kunhi's desk now. And you should know, we both go back a long time!
Student No. 2: Whatever! We just came to take fresh plates. (Takes the plates and turn)
Mr. Tom: Wait a minute...
Student No.1 & 2: What?.
Mr. Tom: (licking the plate) Do try the sambhar. It's unusually delicious today!

-CUT-

(The above conversation is purely a work of the author's imagination. It is simply a satire on the high standards of living, dogs enjoy in the Yenepoyan campus, and nothing else! By the way, for those who are a bit slow, Mr. Tom is of course, a dog!)

So, I hope you get an insider's view into the hygienic standards of the Yenepoya Mess. Of course, if the backdoor of the Mess is left open, and the plates are left uncleaned; the Mother Nature will interfere(sometimes in the form of unwelcome dogs!).It is to be noted that, in spite of the warden's best efforts, the mess workers are clearly negligent of closing the doors and windows. But, when we recently complained about this issue a few months back, the official reply was, 'What should we do? Tie the dogs?' Well, currently I can think of only one retort: Let two particularly annoying dogs into the Yenepoyan royalty's official residence; and wait for their response. Somehow, I don't see them adopting the dogs and showering them with kisses!

But, don't think the management is not doing anything about this issue. In what can be termed as the very first scientific trial of its kind, bottles filled with water have been placed in and around the hostel; in the hopes that they will act as pseudo-fences which will drive the dogs away! The underlying theory that is being circulated, is hydrophobia(For God's sake, do something sensible!). Well, call me retarded, but from what I've learnt, hydrophobia is a feature of rabid dogs and humans. The term 'hydrophobia' itself, is a misnomer, because the inability to swallow is due to the paralysis of the throat and jaw. It has been a week, and I have not seen any dog staying away from the hostel. The more I think about it, the more it is starting to look like a superstitious voodoo thing! Let's watch this space for now.

As far as latest news goes, Dr. Ravi Vaswani has quit as the Registrar of the Yenepoya University. It seems, he has cited unsurmountable workload and an intention to concentrate on his career as a reason, but I can understand his real feelings. Who will want to stay in a post merely as a 'rubber stamp', without any actual power?! For the timebeing, Dr. Shankar Bhat will be the acting Registrar of YU.

Recently, when I was having my evening snack at our Moosakka's shop outside the campus, I was surprised to get my snack wrapped in an internal examination answer paper. From being served in hygienic tissue papers, to papers with my own colleagues' sweat and blood, I've indeed come a long way! But, I was struck by a perverse thought: Is Yenepoya selling these answer papers to this poor man? Can't say for sure, but with Yenepoya, anything is possible!

That's all for now.

(P.S. The title of this post is a pun on a remarkable book 'The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time' by Mark Haddon; the title of which is itself, derived from a dialogue in the famous Sherlock Holmes novel, 'The Hound of the Baskervilles' by Arthur Conan Doyle. Both are amazing books, and for those who have not read them, I recommend it strongly.)

Adios!